Welcome to Money As If, the (relatively) affordable bottle of water you picked up at your local airport.

Today’s flights:

— Jeanine

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Let’s revisit meme coins, shall we? said no one ever. And yet President Donald Trump signed an executive order late last week that could make it easier to add alternative assets — like private equity, real estate, commodities, and, yup, cryptocurrency — to your plain vanilla 401(k).

The order is essentially a deregulatory measure. While there’s currently no law on the books prohibiting private market investments in traditional retirement accounts, there is guidance that requires workplace plan sponsors to act in an employee’s best interest — which is why almost all of them refrain from offering complex or risky investments to participants.

Trump wants the Labor Department to relax this guidance, so that, effectively, an employer-sponsored plan can offer, say, fartcoin funds without fear of getting sued. He also wants the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to find ways to increase access to alternative assets within traditional retirement accounts.

Maybe nothing. Guidance is just guidance and so, ultimately, plan sponsors can offer whatever they feel comfortable — or don’t feel comfortable — offering. Experts speculate that most employers won’t rush to add alternative investments to their plans’ lineups.

“Plan sponsors, particularly larger ones, will be reluctant initially to make alternative investments available due to their high underlying investment costs and the possibility of being sued for breach of fiduciary responsibility until this uncertainty is resolved,” says Joseph J. DiMaio, Jr., certified financial planner (CFP®) and senior wealth advisor at Wick Capital Partners.

Still, DiMaio believes plan sponsors will come around “over time.” And there are signs that at least some asset managers will play (doge)ball. Big-old Blackrock, for instance, announced earlier this summer that it plans to offer a target-date fund with private equity and private credit allocations in early 2026, which brings us to the next (and ultimate) question.

I mean, as always, it depends on your overall financial health and risk tolerance, but let’s break this down, shall we?

The big one is that they’re considered uncorrelated assets. The idea is that when traditional investments, like stocks and bonds go down, alternative assets, like gold, go up, insulating you from market volatility and significant losses.

I’m saying “the idea is” here because today’s market can be weird. Remember when bonds recently acted the exact opposite of the way they’re supposed to act.

The other potential upside is that private equity investments can yield higher returns than vanilla 401(k) funds — and, as such, serve as a hedge against inflation, which is why they’re particularly popular among wealthy investors.

But “can yield” is doing a lot of heavy-lifting in that last paragraph, because the big argument against having alternative investments in any financial portfolio is that they are very, very, very risky.

Rich people like to invest in private equity or buy at least a little crytpo, but that’s partially because they can afford to lose any or all of that money — a facet that usually doesn’t apply to your average employee opening up a 401(k) so they can retire at a reasonable age.

The other significant drawback is that private equity investments, in particular, often have complex and costly fee structures that can erode profit margins and easily confuse investors unfamiliar with their game.

“I'll stop short of saying no one should own alternatives in a 401(k), but I do feel that many will rush to buy into them without considering the nuance involved,” says Dan Costigan, CFP and founder of Two Palms Financial.

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Did some world traveling this week; spent some money before I even got close to my destination.

💦 $3.80

for a 750-ml bottle of water purchased at a post-gate Starbucks in Boston’s Logan International Airport, which I had expected to cost much more, TBH.

🍺 $8.60

for a can of Grapefruit IPA at Logan International Airport’s Wahlburgers; signature dishes (the burgers) cost around $20.

🥬 $19.49

for a wedge salad from 5ive Steakhouse at JFK International Airport, which only cost $4 less than the can (!) of Blue Moon on the menu.

📕$34.76

for a book from one of JFK’s bookstores; the opposite of smart spending for sure, but buying airport books is peculiarity of mine that I no longer try to justify (IYKYK.)

⚡️$44.74

for the world adapter I purchased in a panic at JFK upon realizing that I was headed to the UK with chargers I could not plug in.

🚗 $45.92

for my Uber ride from London Gatwick Airport to the Stanhill Court Hotel in Surrey, though that converts dollars to pounds and I (unintentiionally) double-tipped.

Nowadays, most financial takes are boilerplate. These aren't.

And, finally, today, in things I would buy my husband if I could, you know, just buy my husband things …

Two Real Housewives (Kandi Burruss and Kyle Richards) squared off on Family Feud this week, which, of course, got my attention. And yet all I could think while watching this was: Where did Steve Harvey get that fabulous lapel pin?

Tell me, Steve! Tell me!!!

Got questions, comments, receipts, tips, thirst traps, etc. you’d like to share? Send them to [email protected].

_{This article is for educational purposes only. We don’t recommend or advise individuals to buy, not buy, sell, or not sell particular investments or other assets, as everyone’s circumstances are different. Also, it’s your money and ultimately up to you to decide the best use for it.}